A Letter to My Younger Self: Reflecting Beyond Performance, Comparison, and Perfection

Writing a letter to one’s younger self is a reflective exercise that has been around for some time. It isn’t about thinking I should have known better or if only I had realised sooner. Instead, it offers an opportunity to acknowledge how far you’ve come, what you’ve learned and integrated along the way, and to notice the quieter achievements that can easily go unrecognised.

This is my version of that exercise. I share it from a place of curiosity and personal reflection, and perhaps as something that may resonate for you. It isn’t intended as a map or a model for how this should look, but as an invitation to consider what your own personal or professional journey has shown you.

Dear Me,

Having spent many years getting to know myself—both personally and professionally—I’m not entirely convinced you would have taken all this in at the time. You’ve always preferred to learn through lived experience rather than instruction. Still, perhaps a few of these reflections might have landed—and taken root—a little earlier.

These are not rules. They are observations gathered slowly through practice, missteps, growth, and reflection. In a world where influence and visibility are constant, and comparison can be an easy rabbit hole to fall into, having a few footholds along the way may help prevent slipping too far into narratives that don’t support your work—or your sense of self.

Create breathing space in your workload

It will be tempting to fill every available appointment slot. You may even have the capacity for a while. But life changes—including your own. Leaving margin in your diary protects not only your clients, but your relationships, your health, and your steadiness over time.

Your community matters too.

You will want to help everyone — you can’t

Some people won’t reach you. Some won’t be ready. Some will need someone else. Trust that fit matters in therapeutic work. Not every path needs to lead through you.

Step into difficult spaces — and step back out

Deep empathy is essential — but so is separation. When working closely with distress, it’s easy to blur emotional boundaries. Develop practices that help you return to yourself at the end of each day. Remember where you end and another begins.

Own mistakes cleanly

Errors — clinical or administrative — will happen. When they do accountability builds trust. Repair matters more than perfection. We invite others to face discomfort and grow; we must be willing to model the same.

Create practical boundaries

Separate devices, defined hours, and clear availability are not signs of distance—they are signs of sustainability. You cannot remain present if you are permanently reachable.

Care deeply — and accept autonomy

Skill, compassion, and evidence-informed guidance do not override personal choice. People will make decisions that differ from what you might hope for them. That is not failure — it is agency.

Step outside daily

The work will sometimes be emotionally heavy and physically contained. Fresh air, open space, being somewhere else and sensory grounding are not luxuries—they are stabilisers.

Value your lived growth

Training hours matter. So does personal development, reflection, and emotional maturity. These are not lesser forms of professional strength—they are part of it.

Be mindful of arrangements that undervalue your contribution.

Choose supervision that sees the whole practitioner

Technical oversight is important—but so is relational understanding. Good supervision recognises that the personal and professional are not separate systems.

Take real breaks

Short pauses restore clarity. Longer breaks restore depth. Sustainable care requires rhythm—not constant output.

In the end, balance care for others with care for yourself. Continue to seek understanding—outwardly and inwardly—and remember that steadiness, presence, and humility are as important as technique.

Warmly,
Amberley

If you’d like to explore more reflective writing and psychology-informed perspectives on sustainable wellbeing, you can find my work at www.aspcollection.com